Why God is Beyond My Understanding

I was lying in my bed before I was going to go to bed a few nights ago and right before I fell asleep a question hit my brain. It seems like a rather simple question, but it still made me think a lot. Unfortunately, I lost sleep but I can get it back haha. The question is: Why does God do it better than me? How does it come about that even when I “know”  I have the situation all handled he will show me something I need to change? Why do I fight against what he tells me to do and attempt to make a path of my own (when I know he’s right)? These were some of the questions that went through my mind and after a long time thinking and reflecting on Scriptures I think I got a decent handle on it.

            So the first thing I realized is that God understands the whole situation whilst I do not. I mostly just see how the situation can benefit myself and I can’t really comprehend how much things affect others. When I make a decision, I only see the immediate effects of my decision. I can’t see how it truly affects others because I am not those people. I can’t feel their hurt and I can’t understand their pain. God does. He knows all of us by name and he knows our deepest thoughts. He knows everything about us. His understanding of a situation cannot be measured and that is why it should be in his hands. It really comes down to the fact that he is God and I am not. Who am I, that the Lord of all the Earth would care to know my name? As Steven Curtis Chapman says in his song “God is God”,

God is God and I am not 
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting 
God is God and I am man 
So I’ll never understand it all 
For only God is God

It is so true. There are times where I forget the amazing things God has done for me and I really just want to do it on my own. I forget that his glory cannot be measured and his mercies will never end. Everything he has done for me indicates one thing… that I need to trust him and follow his direction. Something he may ask me to do or that he does may not seem like the best thing for me, but he knows what is best for me. He knows what I truly need. An example of this was when I broke my wrist playing soccer my sophomore year of high school. I was idolizing soccer before him and he was showing me that. Soccer was my life… I was about to be called up to the varsity of one of the powerhouses in my state. It was everything to me. I was so ticked off when it happened… I asked God over and over again why did you do this to me? It was my big break, it was my golden chance… yet today I see why he did it. I know that if that injury had never happened, I would not be who I am today. My faith in God would not be as strong, and I would probably be playing soccer at some college instead of being at the university I am at today. I know that his plan at the time didn’t seem the best for me but as I look back I know it was exactly the wake-up call that I needed in my life. I wish he had figured out a different way to tell me haha, but I won’t question how he did it. Essentially, God understands the big picture and we don’t… so we should give the control to the one who knows what is best for us and those around us.

I also thought about why do I fight God even when I know it’s the right thing to do? I felt like I understand the answer, but it was still good to go back to the basics. The reason why we fight God is because we as humans are naturally sinful. Our tendency is to sin and not doing what God says definitely fits into that description. Romans 3:10-12 says, As it is written:“There is no one righteous, not even one;there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” Let’s not beat around the bush here guys… sin often feels good to us. It feels good to break rules and stuff like that… now the consequences don’t feel good. They feel bad, but a lot of times sin indeed feels good. We reject God because we want to fulfill the desires of our sinful nature.

 So for example, let’s say you feel like you hear God’s voice telling you not to date a girl (or vice versa) because they’re a non-Christian, and don’t know anything about God. They are completely into our culture and have those worldly desires. You may think to yourself they are a funny, attractive and simply the perfect person for me; however, you don’t see the conflict that could be down the road. You both will most likely have a ton of conflict because that other person won’t see things through the lens that you do. They could draw you farther away from God and your growth in God would be stunted. What happens when you get married? How are you going to agree on a budget if you are barely hanging on and they disagree with you tithing? How are you going to raise your kids religiously and morally when the parents are from two completely different backgrounds? They’ll be hearing certain stuff from you and certain stuff from your spouse… how are they going to make decisions? These are all reasons why God wants us to be married to a Christian. So let’s say we don’t date this person. What if a little while later another girl comes into our life… she may not as attractive or as funny but she has a heart for the Lord. There will be problems down the road because there are with any relationship, but the problems that come with marrying a non-Christian are erased. This example may not be quite the best, but I think everyone understands the principle.

Well, I hope this pushes you to ponder these questions even more. They seem like really obvious answers, but I know the more I thought about them the more I remembered/learned about God. We always think we know the basics… but do we really? I honestly feel like we can never learn enough about God because the knowledge of God is immeasurable and we always have to go back to the basic questions of our faith and answer them again. That will encourage growth because we will see things in the Bible we hadn’t seen before, understand concepts, and that leads to a closer walk with Christ. A personal relationship with Jesus is only good if we striving to understand him more and more because he saved us. He died on a cross so that you and me only have to believe in him to have everlasting life in paradise with him. If there is ANYTHING we should be spending our time on it is getting to know him more. We don’t have to earn our salvation by works or knowledge of Christ, but we do it because we love him and want to know him more. That’s that 🙂

 

P.S. I’ve had an awesome Christmas break… and it’s going to be done in just one more week. I love being home and seeing my friends here but I can’t wait to see my college friends and more floor again!      

My Main Thoughts after I Graduated High School

So yes, I’ve graduated high school!!! It feels really cool and it was nice to see all my hard work pay off. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop working haha, it just means I’m going to get to work even harder. However, that is life so I’m not really worried about it. People always say don’t you want to stay a high schooler forever? My answer is two-fold: Yes, I probably would like to be a high schooler for awhile longer just because it gives you time to have fun with your friends before you start working and go off to college. On the other hand, I can’t really answer that question because IT’S IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE! So much has happened this last year that I’m still trying to grasp everything that happened. It’s a difficult task lol 🙂 I’m just gonna throw a few (of many lol) random thoughts out there that God has brought on my mind and you guys can see what you think of them.

 

One of the first points is that you simply have to be self-motivated in order to reach your greatest potential in life. You can be really successful based on natural ability or talent alone but you’ll never be the best you can be. I can personally say that I am not naturally a person to be self-motivated. If I stuck to my nature I would play and train for soccer then sit around and do nothing most of the day, no joke! I just naturally don’t feel like putting in that much effort. However, I’ve learned that you have to work hard in life (finally got what my dad had been teaching me all these years lol). In jr high and my freshman year of high school things always came easy to me. I never had to really work hard at school because I relied on my natural ability and pretty much got straight A’s. I didn’t have to work on growing up because I wanted to just be like everyone else and society allowed for that pretty easily. Plus at that age it is so easy to duck responsibility… much too easy that it should’ve been (once again based on society’s stereotype). The only times I had to work hard was when I was playing sports or when I was doing chores at home. For those of you that know my dad, he seems like a pretty cool guy but a little quiet sometimes. Sometimes he tells really good jokes and sometimes they just fall flat (we share that quality X) ) What I most admire about him is that he always works his tail off. ALL THE TIME. Whatever he is doing he puts everything that he can into that activity and is honestly like a head hunter- he NEVER quits until a job is done. He finally helped me see that motivation comes from inside you; deep inside your soul. So in my sophomore year, I realized that I was getting harder homework and that I needed to work harder. I figured out that self-motivation is the key and 3 years later I can say that I got out of high school with a 3.8ish GPA. One class this senior year that I needed a lot of self-motivation for was my physics class this year. Everyone who knows me (and has taken the class) knows how bad this class was; it was the freakin’ class of death. 1/5 of the class dropped and ½ of the people left completely failed the course. I really wanted to drop the course… I wasn’t getting really good grades (in my opinion C’s are the lowest you should go and I got a few D+’s) and high school soccer was just around the corner. I wanted to just ditch physics and have fun playing soccer, but my parents wouldn’t allow me to drop physics. That’s when God helped me realize that he put me in the situation that I was in for a reason. He wanted me to learn self-motivation and so I decided not to play high school ball in order to work on the class. I’m not whining or trying to put myself up on a pedestal- I’m just trying to show people what can happen when you get self-motivated. I spent an average of 5 hours A DAY on that class. I ended up finishing with a 79 (4^th highest grade in the class) and pulled some people through with me. And I’m not saying that I’m always motivated these days. There are some things that I’m not motivated for and fail. However, I’ve learned the lesson that self-motivation will take you a long way in life and I’m going to work hard for the rest of my life 🙂

 

Another thing I learned about was growing up. First thing I would like to say is while I grew up a lot in high school I wish I coulda grown up even more and matured even more while I had a safety net under me. I feel like it is fair to say I’m very mature for my age yet I know I could’ve done more. There was so much time I wasted doing (this was honestly the only word I could think of) frivolous activities. Now, I’d like to explain myself a little more- IT’S ALRIGHT TO HAVE FUN!!!! I like to have fun myself. I love hanging out with my friends, being on social media, following sports etc. my point is that you have to keep these things in moderation. It’s a classic example but people who are on facebook more than 1 ½ hours a day: you have a problem lol. Most of the time you just sit there and do nothing- you’re wasting valuable time to be doing something else! If you do movies- once or twice a week during the school year is pretty chill but if you watch more: You don’t need to watch that many movies. Life moves very fast… one of the things my pastor has been preaching about lately is stewardship. Stewardship is pretty much managing something that isn’t your own… it’s been given to you. God gave us time to use for his glory. Those video games you pour so much of your life into: God didn’t make you to spend hundreds of hours playing Halo or Assassin’s Creed. Playing the games a little is fine, but putting your life into it… ridiculous. In 20 years people won’t care if you were the 200^th best player in the world at World of Warcraft. People won’t care if you saw all these movies… people won’t care about how your social life went down… the list goes on and on… STAY FOCUSED on growing up. Use that time you’re wasting and not using for any good to become wiser. Dive into God’s word and study it more because he is the only thing worth living for and the more you read that the more you will grow in him. Instead of sitting on the couch… WWWWOOOOOOORRRRRRRKKKKKKKKK!!! Find a job at home or go find a part-time job somewhere else that you can make money from (to save) and gain some valuable real-life experience. Or, what a novel idea, study even harder and get better grades!!! There’s so many ways you can better use your time… it sounds simple but it’s not. You honestly just have to find the balance between having fun and having too much fun. I can honestly say that I wish someone had told me this before I was in my senior year… I could’ve done so much more. To sum that up, always be trying to grow up because high school is perfect for that and God wants you to be using that time to become who he has made you to become!

 

Now that I’ve lost most of my teenage readers (cause I’m pretty sure that having less fun isn’t a very popular subject 😛 ) I will move on to another topic. You will have times in high school where you are confused as to “who you are”, where you’re going, and how to handle life. Every single person who is in high school or past high school knows what I’m talking about. There are very few people in this world that have everything together nearly all the time. There are trials because God wants you to grow stronger and closer to him. Trials suck at the time but they are so important to our spiritual growth. It’s like the silversmith refining the silver; God uses these trials to refine us. Always remember that you can survive any trial that you come across because God is always behind you and will give you the strength that you need. Many people automatically think of Philippians 4:13… “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” That is such a good verse and then I also like Psalm 73:26, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” God will ALWAYS give you the strength that you need, and that’s so important to remember (thus why I’m repeating myself lol)! There are times where you simply make your own trials though by bad decisions. I know that is the case for me and you know it’s happened to you. I’m gonna be candid… and why am I being candid? Most people fear other people judging them for their mistakes but I honestly don’t. People can talk about how I have messed up and so forth but I don’t care… because it’s true!!! We all make mistakes and we are all forced to really on Jesus dying the cross to save us. We’re all on the same ground and I love talking with my friends about their struggles and how to make life decisions. Working with others through life is something that I really like to do. So back to my candidness (spell-checker said it was a word haha) …mid-April through the end of May this year was horrendous for me in the department of making personal decisions. People couldn’t tell because I’ve always been a master at disguising my emotions but I put everything on my own back. I made decisions completely on my own and didn’t use sound judgment or common sense. I just made decisions in a way that made me feel good and totally was only thinking of myself. I reached for some stuff that I shouldn’t have reached for and the list goes on and on… I’ve been cleaning up the mess for awhile now but at least I learned that I can’t carry everything on my own. God had been helping me out so much I honestly forgot who was doing all the awesomeness in my life… and it wasn’t me lol. God showed me that I need to be patient (something that God is helping me to slowly improve in) and that I needed to put others before myself. God showed me that while I can be very close to him I can forget whose show it is. I was given a lesson about how I need God for every single heartbeat of my life or else I’m just living for no reason. I don’t know about you; but I want to live a life worth living. I want to follow God wherever he brings me. I said I would follow him to the death and I still hold fast to that. Anywhere he brings me I will go… even into Mordor ;D couldn’t help putting in a Lord of the Rings reference. Side trail really quick- I’m really jacked to watch the second installment of the Hobbit. That trailer was super-amazing and I’m only disappointed that we all have to wait for December to watch it!!! It’s gonna be the bomb 🙂 … anyways yes I will follow God on whatever path he leads me. I checked out this book from my church library and it’s called “The Search for Peace: Release from the torments of toxic unforgiveness” by Robert S. McGee and Donald W. Sapaugh. Actually, this book was the bomb! It helped me to release so much emotion that I had built up over the last 4-5 years and it was a great help in getting back to who I am. Another thing about this messy period was that I also was questioning who I was. Satan kept filling me with all these insecurities and I believed them. People sometimes forget… Satan is crafty in his schemes and is sooo cunning. I’m not using that as an excuse; I’m just reminding everyone that you have to be on your guard. I was caught COMPLETELY off-guard and wasn’t prepared for anything that went down. Be ready and stand firm. Satan will try to find ways to get you to drop your life principles but you have to not move an inch. The last thing… God gives you these trials to give you experience. Share that with people that are younger than you or anyone who needs it. Do you need to be specific? No, but at the same time you can speak in a general sense to help someone out. Also, just get back up. Don’t let Satan keep you on the ground… don’t let your past failures determine the future of your life. All your sin is gone 🙂 …So that’s what God has taught me about those moments of insecurities and failures… don’t be afraid because God is on your side. He will help you conquer anything that comes your way!

 

So yeah… those were the main points the God brought up. I’m sorry for not putting out blogs on a regular basis… my life has been moving at a speed of 300 mph the last month or so. We actually had an hour and a half of quiet time at a camp staff orientation I had this weekend… and I realized that it was the first time (besides for doing it in my bed at night haha)  I had a moment like that for quite awhile. It was very refreshing… but the graduation ceremony was really awesome. A bunch of my friends whooped it up when my senior video played and I got my certificate so it sounded like I was the most popular person in my class… which I found hilarious! That is FAR from the truth because I’m not even close to being the most popular person in my class but I realized all that whooping was yet another perk of being friends with the younger people in high school. Love the classes below me… they better invite me to all their graduations 😀 I was one of the two student speakers and while I didn’t do the best job God helped me to make an impact so I was really happy! So over the last week or so I’ve thought of so many other things that God has told me to write about. I hope it impacts you like it’s impacted me… and a shout-out to all the people who helped me through high school. My family, friends, moms (because when you’re homeschooled the moms play a big role and a lot of them are actually really cool 🙂 ) teachers and everyone else that has had a role in getting me through. I really appreciate all your help so much!!! I do need to actually relax though before I start work in two weeks… enjoy my little time where I’m free 🙂 Anyways, enjoy summer all you people and have fun and connect with God!!!!

 

P.S. Less than two months before I head off to college… I can’t wait for this next chapter of my life!

My Thoughts as I turn 18

Well, it finally happened. I turned 18!!! I’m “officially” an adult now but I prefer the title of a young man because I think that’s where I’m at 😉 … shoot. I’ve been thinking so much about my life the last few weeks. I know everyone says you realize how fast time flies when you turn 18 but it really does. Wasn’t it just yesterday I was an eight year-old kid drawing beautiful pictures of the plants in my front yard for science (Ok, I’ll admit they were pretty crappy pictures haha). I don’t draw ANYTHING anymore lol; it’s just not my thing. Just a little while ago wasn’t I playing goalie in elementary school and getting 25-30 shots at me every game because our defense was that bad? How’d I move from there to forward, to outside back and finally to center back? I enjoy every position but one of these days I’m guessing I’ll play midfield… Wasn’t it just a little while ago my family adopted my little brother when he wasn’t even a year-old? Now he’s in second-grade and he is so incredibly awesome. He is a super soccer player, works hard on his school and I just love the kid 🙂  There are so many other memories… I don’t wanna waste your guy’s time by going through more of them! So I guess this blog is just what I’m thinking about life itself as I reflect on the life I’ve had.

 

One of the first things that I’ve learned about life is that you have to be proactive to be successful and there is always another chance. You can’t just stumble through life like it doesn’t matter because every single second of your life is precious. You really can’t get it back… so don’t waste it. God gave you the time you have while you live on the earth to love other people and shine for him. Go out and get it. Life isn’t a story of one success and you’re set for life or a story of one failure and you’re screwed. How you take every second of your life and all the different things that you do determine it. So I didn’t really get all of this until this summer when I went on a missions trip with my youth group. It was simply the most amazing experience I’ve ever had in my life. God finally opened my eyes to see that what you do in life does matter. You cannot just waste your life and expect good things to happen. It doesn’t work that way. You must go work hard to get somewhere in life because while you rely on God I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want you to sit in your parent’s basement for 10 years haha (cause I know I wouldn’t want to)! I’m not the most brilliant student, but what I lack for in natural genius I make up for with hard work. I went through a really rough quarter than dropped my GPA a decent amount but I know if I hadn’t been working my butt off it could’ve been FAR WORSE. Whatever you’ve done, wherever you’ve been… it’s a life of second chances. I definitely know I’ve been given another chance by God and I’m hanging on to him and NEVER letting go. I did such a great job of wasting my life for awhile, I was living for nothing. I had no purpose. I was just drifting through life and when something good happened I was really happy and when something bad happened I was really sad. I was messing up my life and wasn’t going anywhere. I’d probably say somewhere around 2 years ago God finally started shaking me and I kept getting closer and closer to losing myself to him. Then I had this missions trip and it BLEW my top off and for the first time I finally committed to God 100%. So for those who think they’ve messed up way to much and God would never love you… he does. So just take life for what is… a chance to take every second of your life and live it for your heavenly Father 🙂

  

Also, I’ve figured out that no matter what you try to fill your life up with if it’s not God it doesn’t work. Sports, school, girls, success, work, drugs (haven’t done that haha) … whatever it is you always have a hole in your soul. I’m not saying that these things aren’t good because they are sometimes wonderful (cept’ drugs lol. They aren’t good for you!) but you just have to keep God at the forefront. Because you have to remember, he gave you everything that you have and everything you will EVER need… pretty sure He should be #1 in anybody’s book! There is just a point where you have to realize that and wake up. Ya know, I’ve played a lot of soccer and have been around guys that have the ability to go pro… but I’ve seen that they aren’t satisfied. All that happens is that they keep pushing and pushing for better results because they can’t feel satisfied with what they’ve done. I’ve known absolutely brilliant people in school that I can tell they just aren’t filled. Even with all their success and their 4.0’s and everything else they still don’t feel at peace… they just keep doing it because it is what people expect of them. I’ve never really struggled with any of these except sports. I used to play 3 sports and I literally devoted my life to playing them. All I did was finish school in the morning/afternoon and then off to soccer, basketball, or baseball practice. Oftentimes the sports overlapped and I would end up training for one sport while the end of the season was happening in another sport. My whole weekend would be preparing and playing whatever game I had to do that weekend. Any spare time I had would be spent going to the middle-school to practice soccer by myself or practicing baseball with my dad at the elementary school. The only thing I didn’t do was get upset at losing. I never really dwelled on anything… it was just “that’s the result and when do we play next?” I mean there were still a few moments I dwelled on… a few that I still do. The biggest one was when I screwed up our team’s undefeated season in the last game a few years ago. We were losing 1-0 with about six minutes to go and I was on a breakaway. Only the keeper to beat… and I kicked the ball right into his chest and into his hands still can’t believe that one. Sorry, that was off track! My point is that I was consumed by sports completely. I honestly cared about nothing else. I didn’t care about school; how I was acting, God etc. it was just playing sports. It was my life. I’ve learned that lesson. For those who know me I still love soccer TREMENDOUSLY but I’ve made sure that it is not my life focus. Just do everything for God because he was the one who gave you the situation and the talent and the ability. I succeed in life with the gifts in life that he has given me and I know it makes him proud. When I take the soccer field I feel him right beside me. Whether I win or lose soccer games I always remember to praise him or when I score a goal or when I make a brilliant defensive play (this happens frequently ;)). For the few people who have seen my goal celebration it always starts with hands pointed up in the air. Because I REALLY feel God’s pleasure at those points since I’m using the natural ability he has given me to bring glory to him 🙂 So to wrap this section up… stuff in life is okay. Sometimes it’s simply amazing 🙂 Just remember to keep God firmly above all else and you’ll be right where you want to be!!!

Another thing I’ve learned (and still struggle with) is that I shouldn’t judge others because I am a flawed person myself. I have a tendency to point fingers at other people and try to put them into the wrong and me into the right when really there isn’t any reason to do that. That’s the main thing I’ve been struggling with the past month or so… sorry to the people who I’ve done that too. That’s the just the biggest thing. I am still very impatient (improving lol) but I want things right now and don’t want to wait. While they are very rare I still have flashes of anger that aren’t very good for anyone. Somebody may ask me why do you put this stuff up for the world to see? The fact is I really don’t care. People can see the stuff anyways and it’s not like I care THAT much about what people think about me. I still do partially because that’s human nature but at the same time I’m just the kind of person who puts their problems out there. Haha, I’ve learned that no matter how hard people try to present themselves as perfect they ain’t. So I’m the same as everyone else but the only difference is that I’m openly admitting to my failures… and if I’m the same then why should I judge others? That is a good question because there is no reason to judge others when you are critically flawed. Just a thought 🙂

 

So another lesson I’ve learned is that you shouldn’t go through life uptight. Whatever the situation, have fun! God has everything under control and you just need to follow him 🙂 I know school and work seems like they’re really hard but I put it this way… “Hard work leads to fun play”. Yes, I just quoted myself in my own blog 😉 beat that! Seriously though, you just have to be dedicated to your duties and complete them then you can have fun. Even though I’m a senior in high school I go to community college and I constantly hear people say that they can’t have any fun… it’s because they don’t work hard on their school. They are constantly goofing off during school and so it takes the whole day to finish their homework. Now if they worked really hard on their stuff all day they might find their evenings might be a little more free. Haha, I have it down. I wake up, work on school before classes, go to classes, have lunch, work on more school, exercise and then work on school even more! I’ve learned that as long as you put in the work and try as hard as you can then you have nothing to be ashamed of 🙂 Then have fun! It can be so easy to get “too busy for fun” but you shouldn’t be. You just have to make sure that you have some events planned and people to talk to during the week so that you get your fun in 🙂 Because life just gets dull when you don’t have fun and then you start getting uptight and then life just gets stressful. Don’t let that happen… work hard then have fun!

 

Another thing is that my group of close friends has helped me out SOO much this last year. I really wished I had figured out that your close friends could be so much help before this year lol, it would’ve helped the other years of my life. God has still helped the most obviously haha but this group has helped me out a ton as well. I can’t lie… it’s been a tough year. There have been a lot of things going down that have just made life somewhat stressful at points this last year. For those who know me I’m a pretty composed person but this year I’ll admit that there has been some times that I have been really rattled inside. That’s where my small group of close friends has helped out so much. All the advice, all the encouragement, all the help, all the smiles, just talking… I really can’t describe how much you people mean to me! Thank you about a million times over for giving me wonderful advice, relieving my stress and helping me out when I need it the most 🙂

 

I think another thing I’ve learned (and wish I’d really believed it a little faster) is that God does everything for a reason. God has plans to give you hope and a future… he’s not trying to make it hard on you. The trials that come through life are meant to bring you closer to Him and make you trust him better. All of us go through trials- that’s a fact! God loves you more than anything else and everything that goes through your life is for something better. One of the pivotal things in my life that I was bewildered (and even now still a little bewildered) by was when I broke my wrist playing high school soccer in my sophomore year. For those who have heard this story a million times bear with me 😉  …so I was playing JV soccer at my high school. My h.s. is a soccer powerhouse in our state (we have never missed state and make it to at least the quarterfinals most years) and it was a very good team. By halfway through the season my JV coach told me that I was going to be called up to the varsity after our next game. I was estatic… an underclassmen playing varsity on one of the best teams in the state!!! I was really excited. In our next game, I was grabbed by the jersey and LITERALLY flung out of bounds. I landed on concrete that was a yard outside of the soccer field and nearly busted my tailbone; however, I broke my wrist. I was very frustrated to say the least. The next few months I was seriously ticked at God asking him why could he do such a thing when I was just about to have my big break? Why, Why, Why??? Now that I look back; I can see why he did it. I was addicted to soccer and it was higher than God was in my life. I still wish God could’ve taught me in some other way haha but that’s how he choose. The point is that everything that happens has a purpose and while it may not seem like a good thing at the time God has your best interests in mind. So just trust Him 🙂

 

For a little humor; Call Me Maybe was the best song that came out this last year. No argument will ever make me change my stance haha. It just is. Carly Rae Jepson is a decent artist and I do listen to her only album because it still has some other good songs. Good time is also an excellent piece of music… it’s another one of my favorite songs this year. The best band ever is Thousand Foot Krutch… they just are. There are too many super amazing and awesome songs that get me ready to go. Umm… Phenomenon, Rawkfist, Move, Welcome to the Masquerade, Already Home, The End is Where We Begin… the list goes on and on haha. Taylor Swift is REMARKABLE… love her music as well!!! That’s my thought on music 😀

 

If anyone tells you feeling bitter about how your life is gone and regretting how your life has gone are the same thing it ain’t true! There’s a big difference between the two. Feeling bitter about your life is simply seeing what happened but at the same time seeing what more you could’ve done or what another possible result might’ve been. The key thing here is that you see that stuff but you wouldn’t change anything in your life. I honestly would not change A HEARTBEAT of how my life has gone. Yes, there have been some really down moments… but I wouldn’t change it. That’s what regret is… seeing all of these things but wanting to change what happened in your life. So do I feel a little bitter about some of my life? Yes, but would I change a second of it? GOSH NO!!! I am amazed at my life… there have been many twists and turns but I’ve had a pretty good time haha! I get a little stressed out every once in awhile but I mostly just keep rollin’ because God has taught me he takes care of it all 🙂 I mean we all doubt God’s plan at some point or we second-guess his awesomeness. A majority of the time though, I’ve learned just to let it go. Whatever happens life will go on in the direction God would want you to go in and sometimes it is going to not feel right but you just gotta keep following. You will be discouraged, treating poorly by others, have a rough time fulfilling your work or school duties, have a few tough days on the soccer pitch or the baseball diamond, have some rough emotional days etc. but remember Jesus went through SO MUCH MORE for you and I. He was a human; he KNOWS how we feel. I’ve said this like four times in this post already lol but trust in God. He has given me every second of my life for a reason and I’m just stickin’ with Him. To the best of my abilities, I try to follow the words “You lead; I’ll follow.”

 

I honestly am taking turning 18 really seriously because it is serious. Over the last year I’ve been planning for my future and now that I’m becoming an “adult” it’s time to put those plans into action. For the people who know me, please don’t think I’ll be that more serious and different. I’ll be the same nerd and (sometimes) dork that I’ve always been haha and I’ll always be up for having fun! It’s just part of life… too many young people run away from growing up. I’m not. No matter what you do you will grow older lol and there’s no sense wasting the present time trying to cling onto the past. I’m ready to go be what God wants me to be and I’m not wasting any time in going that direction. Now to work on becoming a self-supporting adult… that’s gonna take a while 😛

 

To wrap up this spread out thought that this post has turned into… you really just have to let go of what you want. Give God control… He molds you more and more into his image and makes your life into something so beautiful that you can’t even comprehend. He has blessed me with so many things over my life but I’ve just been blessed SOOO much this last year by Him. Everything has been amazing.. all the new friends I’ve made, the friends I’ve gotten to know better (some WAY better), the opportunities I’ve had, the moments I’ve been able to enjoy 🙂 Kinda lost for words right now lol. I’m just laying back and enjoying the ride! I still can’t believe I’m 18… but there is so much of life to go and such little time. I’m not wasting a second because it all is so precious and I only get one shot at this 🙂

 

Just a few quick things to say then I’ll wrap this thing up. The first thing is whenever you look at a person don’t look at what they can do for you. Look at would you can do for them. The final thing is just smile. You don’t know if you’re the one person who brightens up someone’s day and your smiling helps people so much. I always used to be confused as to why people would always say I was encouraging. I had no clue whatsoever. Then someone finally told me “Well, a huge part of it is because it is nearly impossible not to find you smiling. It’s just about impossible not to feel more light-of-heart with you around.” So that’s why I smile no matter how I’m feeling, no matter what’s going on… it just helps other people so much 😀

 

Finally, I thank God beyond anything else. The amount that he has changed me is absolutely amazing. He lifted me from who-knows-where and saved me. I am eternally thankfully to Him so much and I just want to live my life in a way that lets people know how incredible He is. Plus Jesus dying on the cross for my sins still blows my mind thinking about it. “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

 

P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6l4AnJ5yjo