I’ve always wanted my life to be picture perfect. I’ve always to be the model person that everybody enjoys and that is respected by all. I’ve always wanted to be that person who has their life all together and people come to for advice. I’ve always wanted to be the absolute best person that I can be and I strive so hard to get there… but sometimes that causes me to put myself down when I see people better than me. Striving for perfection is a great goal but it causes me to forget what my true motive is and can lead me off track. I get so caught up in trying to be perfect that I forget that God didn’t make me to be perfect. He made me to carry out his will and I can do everything he has set me up for.
However, I’ve figured out that life isn’t about being perfect and fitting in. Life is about embracing who God made you to be and using the journey of life to become more like God. I’ve learned that whatever it looks like no one has their life completely together. That’s how they look on the outside but everyone has something that they are struggling with. Some of us have bigger problems and some of us have smaller problems. Either way, I’ve really just gotten used to my life even though it has struggles. A lot of people tend to focus on the problems of their life but I’ve learned that the blessings of my life FAR outweigh the problems. Even when it seems like my blessings are few I just take time to remember everything that I have. I have a wonderful family, two awesome parents, a great circle of close friends, an amazing amount of cool friends, I’m pretty smart, I’ve always been able to do well in athletics… it all outweighs whatever negatives come my way. I’ve learned that when you have these problems in life you need to depend on God/close friends and you will make it through. The storm comes through but the joy comes when it is finished and gone!
Why am I talking about this? That’s a great question and I’m glad I asked myself 😉 I’m bringing this up because it’s been something I have always struggled with. Sometimes it’s really challenged the core of who I am and caused me to not be myself. BE YOURSELF!!! Don’t let anyone or anything make you think that you aren’t good enough. Often this is a way of Satan to get in your head and capitalize on your insecurities. You are never going to be perfect… so don’t worry about it. Just try to be the best person you can be and if you fail don’t dwell on it. Just pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and keep on going.
I also bring this up because I know that I’m not the only one who is haunted by bad decisions you have made. I had something that I’ve been holding onto for years and I really wouldn’t forgive myself for what I had done. Basically, at the time, I wasn’t happy with who I was and as a result I made a few bad decisions that almost had extremely bad consequences. It was totally outside of God’s plan and I looking back I still can’t believe that I made those decisions. Today at church there was a time of reflection (which is at the end of every service) and God just hammered this home on me. He told me that I needed to completely forgive myself for what I had done and that while it wasn’t a good thing it all fit into his big plan. So I finally let it go… after all these years… and it felt like I just had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders 🙂 … it was wonderful.
So I guess in conclusion just embrace who you are and don’t let your past effect your present. God made you exactly who you are and you don’t need to “have it all together” or “be perfect” or be like anyone else. Just be who God made you to be 😀
P.S. Thank you for reading! Your time spent looking at my blog is really appreciated and I hope you enjoyed it! For those at home: college life is going absolutely fantastic so far! I am having a great time making new friends, doing debate, getting good grades and just overall enjoying the college experience.