Life isn’t Picture Perfect… but that’s fine!

I’ve always wanted my life to be picture perfect. I’ve always to be the model person that everybody enjoys and that is respected by all. I’ve always wanted to be that person who has their life all together and people come to for advice. I’ve always wanted to be the absolute best person that I can be and I strive so hard to get there… but sometimes that causes me to put myself down when I see people better than me. Striving for perfection is a great goal but it causes me to forget what my true motive is and can lead me off track. I get so caught up in trying to be perfect that I forget that God didn’t make me to be perfect. He made me to carry out his will and I can do everything he has set me up for.

                However, I’ve figured out that life isn’t about being perfect and fitting in. Life is about embracing who God made you to be and using the journey of life to become more like God.  I’ve learned that whatever it looks like no one has their life completely together. That’s how they look on the outside but everyone has something that they are struggling with. Some of us have bigger problems and some of us have smaller problems. Either way, I’ve really just gotten used to my life even though it has struggles. A lot of people tend to focus on the problems of their life but I’ve learned that the blessings of my life FAR outweigh the problems. Even when it seems like my blessings are few I just take time to remember everything that I have. I have a wonderful family, two awesome parents, a great circle of close friends, an amazing amount of cool friends, I’m pretty smart, I’ve always been able to do well in athletics… it all outweighs whatever negatives come my way. I’ve learned that when you have these problems in life you need to depend on God/close friends and you will make it through. The storm comes through but the joy comes when it is finished and gone!

                Why am I talking about this? That’s a great question and I’m glad I asked myself 😉 I’m bringing this up because it’s been something I have always struggled with. Sometimes it’s really challenged the core of who I am and caused me to not be myself. BE YOURSELF!!! Don’t let anyone or anything make you think that you aren’t good enough. Often this is a way of Satan to get in your head and capitalize on your insecurities. You are never going to be perfect… so don’t worry about it. Just try to be the best person you can be and if you fail don’t dwell on it. Just pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and keep on going.

                I also bring this up because I know that I’m not the only one who is haunted by bad decisions you have made. I had something that I’ve been holding onto for years and I really wouldn’t forgive myself for what I had done. Basically, at the time, I wasn’t happy with who I was and as a result I made a few bad decisions that almost had extremely bad consequences. It was totally outside of God’s plan and I looking back I still can’t believe that I made those decisions. Today at church there was a time of reflection (which is at the end of every service) and God just hammered this home on me. He told me that I needed to completely forgive myself for what I had done and that while it wasn’t a good thing it all fit into his big plan. So I finally let it go… after all these years… and it felt like I just had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders 🙂 … it was wonderful.

                So I guess in conclusion just embrace who you are and don’t let your past effect your present. God made you exactly who you are and you don’t need to “have it all together” or “be perfect” or be like anyone else. Just be who God made you to be 😀


P.S. Thank you for reading! Your time spent looking at my blog is really appreciated and I hope you enjoyed it! For those at home: college life is going absolutely fantastic so far! I am having a great time making new friends, doing debate, getting good grades and just overall enjoying the college experience.   


Breaking the Demons That are Inside

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide~ “Demons” Imagine Dragons


So I know it’s unconventional to start with the lyrics from a secular song but this really got me thinking because we all do this thing as Christians or just as people. All of us look great on the outside no matter what’s going on but we all have different types of “demons” inside our soul. Only a few people know about our personal demons and sometimes we just bottle them up deep inside us. We’re all afraid to let people inside and see the demons… plus we just can’t quite cure them either.

The problem with most people is that they cave in to their demons. They just accept the fact that they are “cursed” with them and they can’t do anything about it. These demons pull them down and prevent the people from living freely for God. People just aren’t willing to put in a proactive effort to rid themselves of the demons. I’m totally not pointing fingers… I’m just as guilty as anyone else. I know my demons and while I’ve gotten rid of some of them there are others that I have let sit. The demons that say no matter how much I achieve in life I will never be good enough (or inadequacy) … that’s something I’ve struggled with all my life. The demons that make me become self-centered and only focus on myself. Plus so many more. I know FOR A FACT that I’m not the only person who struggles with these.

The thing is that we have to rely on the strength of God to defeat the demons in our soul. We can’t take on our demons alone… because that’s how God made us. We are really such fragile human beings when you think hard about it and the tiniest things can bring us down. Something can start like a tiny fire in the woods but if it’s not taken care of it lights the whole forest on fire. I find it funny how the human race (including myself) can be so proud of ourselves yet so fallible to errors at the same time. Look at the world today… everyone is making so many mistakes. Looking at history… entire empires have crumbled over a tiny mistake that just kept getting bigger and bigger before it consumed the whole thing.

We need God to fill that void for us because all we have to offer him is a broken person. I honestly can’t say that I can offer anything to God that he doesn’t already have. He has everything… I come to him because he can make me whole again. God can make me into something that I could never attain with my own strength. He can help us fight the demons that try to bring us down because God wants us so much. He knows you better than you even know yourself and if you trust him he will move mountains with you. In him you will find the strength to break through the struggles of life and cast off the demons that hold you down. He knows where those demons hide and he will put people in your life that will help you cast off your demons. I know that he has definitely put people in my life that show me (whether unintentionally or intentionally) how I can shake free of demons. I can’t count the times where I was ready to just leave the demon be… and at the last second a friend just said something that gave me what I needed to defeat the enemy. In addition, my parents have helped me out as well by showing me that I really am successful and that I want to strive for excellence because I have high goals not because I’m inadequate. My two best friends never realize how much they (mostly) unintentionally and sometimes intentionally say exactly what I need to hear. They just are always there for me and help me through my struggles. They don’t know how much they mean to me 🙂 In addition, God has saved me so many times as well… through the reading of his word, through prayer… he has lead me through heartbreak and pain. He has been with me on the sunny days and on the rainy days. I’ve been so far in life and experienced so much… yet I’ve only lived 18 years on earth haha. Kinda weird to think I still have so far to go!!!

I just know that my best days are the ones when I’ve surrendered my soul to God and he has helped me to fight those demons inside. This song by Imagine Dragons is saying don’t get too close to the demons but we Christians need to take the opposite course. We can’t let those demons pull us down because that prevents us from fully reaching the potential that we have in Christ. We need to put our trust in God, be committed to fighting those demons, and let him do the rest. I love it when I surrender to God… it just feels so wonderful 🙂


P.S. Yea, I finished another blog… I hope God spoke to you through it!


So I’ve literally been trying to write this for somewhere around three weeks now and I haven’t blogged in forever… I’m sorry. My life has been insane! I moved into my dorm and completed my first week of college!!! Anyways, like I said, I wanted to delve into a topic that all of us have a key interest in. Hope is something that God has placed inside us all… so let’s break it down.
The first thing to realize about hope is that there are two different kinds of hope. There is the hope for something that we can’t control and the kind of hope that we can control. For example; I can hope that the Seattle Seahawks win the Super Bowl. This would be the hope without action because I don’t play on the Seahawks and I can’t do anything about the situation. On the other hand, if I hoped that my intramural flag football team would win the university championship (which is gonna happen because we’re already having workouts… plus I’m good 😉 ) that is hope with action because I can do something about that. The reason why I break these two apart is because we tend to let God have more control of the ones that we can’t control. Then when it comes to the things we can control… that’s where we try to forget about God and (intentionally or unintentionally) squeeze him out. While, in the meantime “uncontrollable” hope (as I call it) is still important but I will focus more on the “controllable hope. This is the area we have a problem giving to God and usually have the most problems in.
So what does the Bible say about hope? Well, my favorite verse on hope is 1 Corinthians 2:9, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” No matter how much we hope for something and no matter how much effort we put into it… the result is never fully in our hands. We may think we have control of a circumstance and that we can make what we hope reality. The truth is that there are so many variables to a situation we never have control. Never. That’s where we turn to God… because he knows all the variables. He knows your most anxious thoughts. He knows all the different stuff that can happen and he knows what is best for you. Now don’t think I’m saying don’t hope for things. Some of the greatest things in life are the ones you hope, dream and fight for. It is okay to hope for them… the key is not to let that hope blind you and separate you from the path on which God is leading you. Let God lead your hopes… because he knows what is best for you.
I’m not going to write a long blog describing on how to let God lead you. At least not today lol. It’s simple… just pray and listen to him. At this point just take a few minutes to bask in God’s presence and just trust that he knows what he is doing 🙂

I know I promised more stuff… it’s just been coming along slowly. Thank you to my blog readers who have patiently been waiting for more stuff. I appreciate it 🙂